My Burmese Mum

One thing I didn’t write about in my previous post about the elephant camp was the people who lived on the camp. Although I forged some real lasting friendships, I particularly wanted to share the story of Mee Gah and her son Goh.

Mee Gah was one of the ladies who manned the stall where we sold upwards of 1,000 bananas each day at the camp, henceforth referred to as the Banana Ladies. When we were introduced she told me that her husband had died the month before. I was quite shocked because she said it in a very matter of fact manner, as if she’d said something as trivial “it rained last night.” I have to admit I had absolutely no idea how to react to that disclosure!
As the month progressed, it somehow came to be a running joke, I forget how, that Mee Gah was my mum, and as a result I took to calling her “Mair”, (which is mum in Thai) and she called me “Luk” (child). The fact that she was 26 didn’t seem to be a factor. As a result of our new familial status I played with Goh, who was now my little brother, which gave Mee Gah some time to herself.

Becoming friends with the Burmese workers means I was invited to dinner in the Burmese quarter several times, and it was great to try some traditional Burmese dishes, which seemed to lean towards Indian curries more than Thai food does. Near the end of the month it emerged that Mee Dtae no longer wanted to work on the elephant camp and wanted to leave and work in Bangkok. We’d got to be quite good friends and so it was quite sad when she left. Her sales pitch, “Banana-por-elephaaaant” was noticeably absent.

Fortunately, I told Mee Gah that when I went to Bangkok I would come and visit her. That proved to be rather difficult – On the phone her brother told me she lived near The Mall Bankapi, which is quite far away from where I was staying. After 30-40 minutes on the canal boats, I arrived at The Mall and called again. I was given the name of the area they were in, and I hopped on a motorcycle taxi. He drove for 30 minutes, literally out of the city! Hardy “near” The Mall! Eventually we managed to meet up, where we spent a few hours eating, before she had to go to work and I went back to town to buy a shot-put. A strange and very convoluted reunion, but a very nice one nonetheless. I hope I can stay in contact with my Burmese mum.

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How to Be Lucky

I don’t think there’s much point in believing in luck. Undeniably, the person born to millionaire parents in the USA is luckier than the child of a crack addict in a slum in The Gambia, but in a comparison between two average Joes, it doesn’t serve much practical purpose to describe one person as being naturally lucky and the other as naturally unlucky.


The way I think about it, “luck,” good or bad, is just the positive or negative outcomes in life. Many are purely the result of chance, like winning Blackjack (I know, wait a minute) or the Lottery, but when you think about “luck” in terms of positive or negative results in life, I think it makes you realise how much of your “luck” you actually control. And if you can control it, you can make it better.

The crux of the issue is a popular quote, “The harder you work, the luckier you get”, which could also be phrased as “the more work you put in, the more positive outcomes you’ll have in your life.” To take the example of Blackjack, though it may seem to be down to chance, actually the person who puts a little effort into learning by heart a table of the statistically best moves to make in any given position will have slightly better luck than before. The person who puts a lot of effort into learning how to card count will have much better luck and a bigger bank balance. More realistic examples are the person who puts works harder at practising golf and improving his physical fitness winning more golf games, or the person who studies harder getting a higher score in a test, and going to a better college.

You’re probably thinking that the problem with this is that people already work hard but still lose games, still get bad scores and still get passed over for promotion. This is why I change the previous quote to “The harder and smarter you work, the luckier you get.” It’s not enough just to do more of the same. I think Einstein’s definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. If a student is revising for 8 hours a day and still getting low scores, simply working harder and studying for 12 hours a day won’t make him luckier. Trying out several new ways of revising and finding one that works much better for him will allow him to get a higher score, maybe with fewer hours of revision... clearly his “luck” has improved.

What about the person working in the accounts section of Dundermifflin Paper Co, who always comes to work early, works unpaid overtime yet still gets passed over for promotion and feels stuck in their job? Like the student doing more of the same, coming to work earlier, working faster and doing more overtime is not going to suddenly increase their luck and make a pay rise appear. That is working harder, but not smarter. It won’t get the promotion and it might even make other parts of their life worse. Instead, what if the accountant took a night or weekend course that would get them an additional qualification or certification for some new business software? They’d have to work hard and might lose some free time for a few months, but with their new skills, they could better justify a raise to management, or even apply for a new job.

So if you want to know how to be lucky, I believe you should think outside the box and make sure that you work harder and smarter.

If, however, you think people are stuck with the hand they’ve been dealt, write a comment! If you’ve worked hard and smart (or are lucky) to be able to give me an enjoyable and lucrative job, also comment! (Now THAT would be luck)

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Get Your Finger Out of my Face and Stop Calling me Hulk

One word that just about any foreigner who stays in Thailand for a while will learn is “Farang” which basically means “white foreigner” (as well as Guava fruit, incidentally). The word seems to have Indian origins (Farengi) and I believe it was historically used to specifically describe the French, but in 2010 it's the Thai one-size-fits-all way of describing any of the 1 billion-plus Caucasians in the world. So far, nothing wrong with that, right? We use “Asian” to describe any of the 2 billion-plus people from the Far East, for example. The significance is how the word is used. Someone from the West would never address someone as “Asian.” If you were trying to attract someone's attention you wouldn't call out “Hey, Arab!” Yet in Thailand, “Farang” is not only used to describe Caucasians, it is openly used to address them.

Is this a specifically Thai thing? While I was studying at The National University of Singapore I sometimes heard myself being referred to as “Ang Moh” (which originally meant “red haired person” but is now the general word for Caucasian) by Chinese people having conversations, but in 4 months no one ever said “Hey, Ang Moh” to my face.

The use of the word Farang is widely discussed and debated by expats in Thailand and causes offence to many of them. I think I know why. When someone (especially someone who already knows your name) addresses you or refers to you in an audible conversation as “Farang,” it depersonalises or even dehumanises you. Most Westerners take this as an insult. By referring to someone in English as “it”, using a word for inanimate objects or animals, you're degrading that person's status and making a negative comment about their value as a human being. “Farang” has a similar effect, because it reduces you from an individual with a name to a thing, a “foreigner.” Are Thai people deliberately being insulting when they do this? I don't think so, at least not completely. For Thai people, this whole notion of depersonalisation doesn't exist on the same scale as in the West.

Stop calling me Farang. I'm a person, OK?

When speaking to adults, all Thai children (and even young women) will refer to themselves (Thai people use the third person a lot more than we do, perhaps with the exception of Alex Turner) as “Noo”, which actually means rat! As another example, “Mun,” a word for “it” used to refer to objects and animals, can also be used for people, without causing any offence. Therefore I think “Farang” is unlikely to be meant to be insulting in the same way that calling someone “Foreigner” would in the West.

The problem is that, intended or not, it does cause offence. In the same way that Thai people don't like you touching their head, Western people don't like to be referred to as a thing. This is whether they've been in Thailand for two weeks or two years. In addition, for Westerners who speak Thai the fact that when Thais address Thais, they use “Pee” for older people and “Nong” for younger people, is grating. They don't say “Khun White Skin” or “Miss Fat Neck.” In conversations they will refer to other people by name, or “khao” (he/she/they). Why do they not do the same for us? Ignorance? A belief that Westerners are actually inferior (Thailand is a strictly hierarchical country after all)? Maybe.

The thing is that we now live in a global community and a society like Thailand that so heavily emphasises respect would perhaps do well to show a bit to non-natives. A Thai visiting the UK would be quite upset if, despite their protestations, the locals touched their head or pointed feet at them, so I hardly think the “when in Rome” counterargument holds much validity here. Thai people might not intend offence when they call someone “Farang”, just as I might not intend offence if I called someone very tall “Giraffe,” but if the recipient of the title is uncomfortable with it, a respectful person, in a respectful society, should at the very least stop using it to their face.

I warned you!

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